DAN: When you do interviews, you’re faced with the choice to either be the most boring person on earth or just get ridiculous things written about you from time to time
JOSH HOROWITZ: Sometimes it might be good to be boring
DAN: It might be but I just get bored of myself
[Happy 25th Birthday Daniel Radcliffe! (23 July 1989)]
Every single one of your actions suddenly becomes epic when you listen to this
I play this in my car while I’m driving.
I’m getting married and walking down the aisle to this song
I decided this a long time ago
Try petting the cats to this.
Ima just gon reblog this a seventh time okay
Everytime I hear this I want to spontaneously jump on a table and begin a battle
SOMEONE BRING ME MY SWORD. BECAUSE TODAY, LADS *EXTREME ZOOM IN* WE GO TO WAR!!*brushing hair dramatically*
*Sits at computer with sweatshirt on head dramatically*
I’m lounging with SO MUCH PURPOSE RIGHT NOW. So much.
If you want to learn about comedic timing and perfect delivery, you start and end with A Bit of Fry and Laurie.
You are 12. You’re at the library looking for some generic young adult fiction novel about a girl who falls for her best friend. Your dad makes a disgusted face. “This is about lesbians,” he says. The word falls out of his mouth as though it pains him. You check out a different book and cry when you get home, but you aren’t sure why. You learn that this is not a story about you, and if it is, you are disgusting.
You are 15. Your relatives are fawning over your cousin’s new boyfriend. “When will you have a boyfriend?” they ask. You shrug. “Maybe she’s one of those lesbians,” your grandpa says. You don’t say anything. You learn that to find love and acceptance from your family, you need a boyfriend who thinks you are worthy of love and acceptance.
You are 18. Your first boyfriend demands to know why you never want to have sex with him. He tells you that sex is normal and healthy. You learn that something is wrong with you.
You are 13. You’re at a pool party with a relative’s friend’s daughter. “There’s this lesbian in my gym class. It’s so gross,” she says. “Ugh, that’s disgusting,” another girl adds. They ask you, “do you have any lesbians at your school?” You tell them no and they say you are lucky. You learn to stay away from people.
You are 20. You have coffee with a girl and you can’t stop thinking about her for days afterwards. You learn the difference between a new friendship and new feelings for a person.
You are 13. Your mom is watching a movie. You see two girls kiss on screen. You feel butterflies and this sense that you identify with the girls on the screen. Your mom gets up and covers the screen. You learn that if you are like those girls, no one wants to see it.
You are 20. You and your friends are drunk and your ex-boyfriend dares you to make out with your friend. You both agree. You touch her face. It feels soft and warm. Her lips are small and her hands feel soft on your back. You learn the difference between being attracted to someone and recognizing that someone you care about is attractive.
You are 16. You find lesbian porn online. Their eyes look dead and their bodies are positioned in a way that you had never imagined. You learn that liking girls is acceptable if straight men can decide the terms.
You are 20. You are lying next to a beautiful girl and talking about everything. You tell her things that you don’t usually tell anyone. You learn how it feels not to want to go to sleep because you don’t want to miss out on any time with someone.
You are 15. Your parents are talking about a celebrity. Your dad has a grin on his face and says, “her girlfriend says that she’s having the best sex of her life with her!” You learn that being a lesbian is about the kind of sex you have and not how you love.
You are 18. You are in intro to women’s and gender studies. “Not all feminists are lesbians- I love my husband! Most of the feminists on our leadership team are straight! It’s just a stereotype,” the professor exclaims. You learn that lesbianism is something to separate yourself from.
You are 21 and you are kissing a beautiful girl and she’s your girlfriend and you understand why people write songs and make movies and stupid facebook statuses about this and time around you just seems to stop and you could spend forever like this and you learn that there is nothing wrong with you and you are falling in love.
You are 21. And you are okay.
My internet was down for 5 minutes so i went downstairs and spoke to my family
They seem like nice people
Sometimes all you need is a really good orgasm to make things okay
people who have british accents on doctor who
- british people
- the french
- aliens who have never ever been to earth
- literally almost anyone no matter what
people who do not have british accents on doctor who
The TARDIS has to translate French, Latin, and alien languages to English. Americans are already speaking English, so there’s no need to translate it.
BAM YOUVE BEEN WHOLOCKED
The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.
Jizz and jet
shoot and scoot
blow your load and hit the road
bust ya nut and off ya strut